Market Mastermind Gifts

"We only missed two strategic goals: Supply and demand."

We're planning a surprise buyout of our competitor from a direction they'd never imagine. How well do you know your way around eBay?

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

The president's men

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

wealth investment

Dept. of the Treasury

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

The United States' economy deflating.

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Carlo Ancelotti

"This is super. I asked for super-duper."

'Our problem is, we do more blamestorming than brainstorming.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

I don't like the looks of this.

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'I see you plan to grow by 50 a year!'