Marketing Mastermind Gifts

Customer Satisfaction.

'Excellent,Templeton! Now come up with a product!'

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"

'You see, clever advertising works...'

'Our business model is very simple. When sales dip, we add another blade.'

'First the planes will lay down a heavy aroma of thin mints throughout the town. Then we'll sweep in and sell cookies like mad!'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"Well, we have great word of mouth, amazing publicity, and incredible hype. Now, we just need to figure out what this thing does."

Niche Marketing

Digital Marketing

"I'm going to name my new electronics brand 'New'."

"Test screening proves it. That is one hell of a dental floss commercial!"

"Our hope was to pander to the lowest common denominator but each time we thought we'd found it it turned out we were still aiming too high."

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

"We'll play on their anxieties and timidities. If that doesn't work, we'll play on their fears and insecurities."

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

'If it fails in Commercial Fishing, we can market it to golfers.'

"Brilliant piece of marketing!"

I think we should appeal to their greed...

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

'By subliminally advertising in our own commercials, we get twice the advertising for half the price!'

"So what do you think of my marketing plan?"

'To be honest Beryl, the Boss just made 'em smaller this week...'

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"It's working, chief!"

Go for it! Do a Hot Dog!

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."