Market Minder Gifts

Stock Market.

The president's men

Opening the door to new customers

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

The bailout.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

Digital Marketing

'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

Niche Marketing

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

"I'm going to name my new electronics brand 'New'."

'By subliminally advertising in our own commercials, we get twice the advertising for half the price!'

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."