Machine Minder Gifts

'About this 50% error rate of yours, Billington . . .'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

Man and Machine snoozing

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Institute for Artificial Intelligence.

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Analyst and patient

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatry works too well!