Machine Minder Prints

'About this 50% error rate of yours, Billington . . .'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Man and Machine snoozing

Institute for Artificial Intelligence.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Analyst and patient

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'