Machine Mender Gifts

Aviation Inspection and Maintenance. Ernie, coffee is not a quick fix for metal fatigue.

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Broken Heart

Boss

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

Bones Reunited

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

Digger.

Dr Dinaram Cardiology: Hurt Feelings and Broken Hearts

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

'About this 50% error rate of yours, Billington . . .'

'I'm afraid being based in Harley Street doesn't mean I fix sick Harleys!'

Garage. Tell the scoutmaster we fixed his broken horn. Beep repaired!

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

Her tears flowed like wine.

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

"So, when did you first have these overwhelming urges to spend �100s on therapy?"

"I'm not sure we can do anything for a broken heart."

''Tis a poor thing, but mine own.'

'There you are, Mr. Van Winkle. That Ginkgo Biloba should improve your memory and keep you from dozing off.'

'I've been treating you for months -- Has your memory shown ANY improvement?', 'Who wants to know?'

Heartbreak

Unfortunately the tinman was 10W30 and the oil bank needed staight 30W

"I understand your machine makes O-rings."

Tell me more about your kleptomania - Darn where did I put my notebook?

"Clarence thinks he's hot stuff now that he got the portable DR tricked out."

'I can't remember whether we take the left fork or the right fork of the road.'

A robot dog urinates nuts and bolts on a fire hydrant.