Medieval Mender Gifts

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Couples' therapy

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'