Faithful Mender Gifts

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

Broken Heart

Men's Prayer Group.

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

Boss

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

'When I said 'Show her a loving husband', Mr Jones, I didn't mean a picture of your friend Wally.'

'I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you and yes, I'll be happy to see you sometime. Bring your wife along. I'm a marriage counselor.'

Bones Reunited

'How can you be so cheap?'

God's lil' fix-it shop.