Marital Mender Gifts

"I don't know what I ever saw in him. I was hoping a fresh set of eyes might see something I missed."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Wedding Chefs

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

'I told you he had a temper.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'