Faithful Fermenter Gifts

"The Convent of the Immaculate Heart Brewery"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Men's Prayer Group.

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"The buck really stops with him."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Interfaith dialogue

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."