Faithful Fermenter Pillows

"The Convent of the Immaculate Heart Brewery"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Men's Prayer Group.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

Interfaith dialogue

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'