Faithful Fixer Pillows

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Power and the Glory tools

God's lil' fix-it shop.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Enlightened Cursing

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

Men's Prayer Group.

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Jesus swept.

"I won't ask you what you're using for bait . . . what are you using for a line."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Could I get back to you on that one? My broker says my stock went back up!'

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

'How can you be so cheap?'

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

"Yes, this is Mr. Kalen in Room 1510 – would you send up an Android version of the Gideon Bible?"

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

"Things to do Today: Create the heaven and the earth."

'I'll be seeing you again right after our Quarterly Earnings Report.'

The Stock Market Giveth. . . The Stock Market Taketh Away.

Christian Motorcyclists Association