Faithful Architect Pillows

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Christian and Born again Christian...

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"I love what you've done with him."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

Men's Prayer Group.

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

Pregnancy Test

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'Can't you ever forget work?'

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

"Someday, this will all go into your pre-nuptial agreement."

Put it in writing!

"Oh, great. Humble Beginnings."

'You may be serving Him up there, but don't forget...I'm boss down here.'

'Perhaps it's not a good idea to build skyscrapers that reach this far up.'

'Could I get back to you on that one? My broker says my stock went back up!'

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'Go over that again about thinking you're a gargoyle.'

Power and the Glory tools

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

"Yes, this is Mr. Kalen in Room 1510 – would you send up an Android version of the Gideon Bible?"