Faithful Fellow Pillows

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Men's Prayer Group.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Parachuting bishop.

'Okay - who leaked?'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Jesus Christ

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

"The buck really stops with him."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all