Faithful Fellow Pillows

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Men's Prayer Group.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Parachuting bishop.

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Jesus Christ

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."