Faithful Family Member Pillows

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Father

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Interfaith dialogue

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Men's Prayer Group.

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."