Faithful Parents Pillows

"The baptism is Sunday, and not a moment too soon, I might add."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

Father

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."