Faithful Fish Pillows

'Oh no, quick! Turn off the lights... Pretend we're not home!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

"Well no, Ed. Jonah's fish probably wasn't as big as the one you caught in the state fishing tournament."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'He did it for us.'

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Testing the water temperature in the font.

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

"But how many followers do you have?"

Decisions a Pope makes

Pope Francis

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'