Faithful Fish Gifts

'Oh no, quick! Turn off the lights... Pretend we're not home!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"Well no, Ed. Jonah's fish probably wasn't as big as the one you caught in the state fishing tournament."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'He did it for us.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"The buck really stops with him."

Pope Francis

Decisions a Pope makes

Testing the water temperature in the font.

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"But how many followers do you have?"