Faithful Finder Gifts

'How can you be so cheap?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Parachuting bishop.

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

Jesus Christ

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

'Get an afterlife!'

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Please, Lord, enough already."

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"Holy Mackerel!"

Men's Prayer Group.

Jesus wept

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

Arrow Church

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

'Uh, is there a TEACHER'S edition?'

God and His Copilot.

'Is it ethical to pray for an amicable divorce?'

'Pray for peace... or war.'