Medieval Mender Pillows

Boss

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Couples' therapy

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Like that?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Analyst and patient

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'