Car Mender Gifts

Garage. Tell the scoutmaster we fixed his broken horn. Beep repaired!

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Organic Soldering.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

Turmoil change.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

A souped up car...

Animals are smarter than we think!

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"