Methane Minder Gifts

'If they don't care about the deforestation, then I don't care about the methane gas.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Boss

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Analyst and patient

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

When psychiatry works too well!

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Let it out. Let it all out."

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

'You think you have a hard life? -- I have to listen to crazy people every day!'

'WOOHOO! I love Methane!'

The poetry repair shop