Methane Master Gifts

Man farting CH4 in a chemical laboratory

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

...read the minutes back but skip the part where Mr.Bostock tried to strangle me.

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

Out of Focus Group