Methane Master T-Shirts

Man farting CH4 in a chemical laboratory

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Attendees Anonymous

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

...read the minutes back but skip the part where Mr.Bostock tried to strangle me.