Manner Master T-Shirts

'You must close your eyes during grace.'

Road Signs to Come. . .

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

Man and brain

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

He tried to be positive, no matter the atmosphere.

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

How to get ahead and how to get further ahead.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

"I'm so sorry darling: the shop was out of anti-dandruff shampoo..."

'It just needs tidying up a bit.'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

Civil war, "You shoot first old boy. No, no I won't hear of it"

Human mood

'I'm sorry, but 'irrational exuberance' is now officially considered a mood disorder.'

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

Career coaching at a yoga studio

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'In and out! In and out! Get it right ponies because in the real event you also have a human to look after!'

Chicken Affirmations

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

Checking watch

'She vacillates between PBS and PMS.'

"You're too happy. I'm prescribing a feel-bad movie."