Machine Master Gifts

The dunger

Institute for Artificial Intelligence.

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"On your mark! Get set!"

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

Man checks the gears in his chest.

Bagging the Chipmunk

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'What's up? She been rearranging your shed again?'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

"You still working on your car?"

Lighting a Pipe