Maintenance Men T-Shirts

'My hubby breaks everything he touches.'

'Dad, the kid who lives here has broken your hammer with his head.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"He loves his leaf blower."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Well, that's fixed that.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Lazy plumber.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Clearing the castle's moat.

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'No it's still not fixed'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

Time Clock

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"