Low-carb Lover Gifts

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

The Nihilist Deli.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

Crusty Bread

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

Bad Carbs

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

Low Carb Slop

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

'I'll have potato soup, potato salad, baked potato with fries and for dessert, potato pancakes.'

''Light' beer bottles. Somewhere there's a slob on a diet.'

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

'Potatoes AND stuffing!'

Slimmer's baguette.

'Oh that's why I put on weight - all I eat is carbs!'