Low-carb Enthusiast Gifts

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

Low Carb Slop

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

Crusty Bread

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

Bad Carbs

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

"Sergio, just for you, I made this cake glucose free.... I don't know how to make glucose free."

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

A fridge surrounded by books.

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

'Sorry, no carbs.'

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

'I'll have potato soup, potato salad, baked potato with fries and for dessert, potato pancakes.'

''Light' beer bottles. Somewhere there's a slob on a diet.'

'Potatoes AND stuffing!'