Carb Connoisseur Gifts

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

Complex Carbs

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

Bad Carbs

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

The Alpha Seltzer

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"You're never home."

Dog Walker

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

Shaved Ice

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

Coffee Time Crossword

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbohydrates

"They only buy one cup of coffee and then spend all day playing with a ball of yarn."

the Morning Joe team.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.

'I am not saying you have to give up all sea food...just shrimp!'