Carb Connoisseur T-Shirts

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

Complex Carbs

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

Bad Carbs

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

The Alpha Seltzer

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Dog Walker

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"You're never home."

Shaved Ice

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Coffee Time Crossword

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbohydrates

"They only buy one cup of coffee and then spend all day playing with a ball of yarn."

'I am not saying you have to give up all sea food...just shrimp!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Arguing with Edna was enough to make the brain fly out of any logical man.

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"Well, no wonder they're more producive than us."

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'