Low-carb Aficionado T-Shirts

'Polly wants a cracker!' 'Maybe we should switch to low-carb crackers?!'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

"In the morning I eat nothing then I wait 4 hours and eat nothing again."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

Crusty Bread

'Be patriotic. Food prices are rising. Eat less.'

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Bad Carbs

'Take two of these weight loss tablets before every meal. Your stomach won't have room for food.'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

Low Carb Slop

"Sergio, just for you, I made this cake glucose free.... I don't know how to make glucose free."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'