Weight-loss Aficionado T-Shirts

"At this point in your career, your only hope is to get fat, lose weight, and endorse a weight-loss program."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Fat man on scales.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Snow woman admiring a muscular snowman.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

Step aerobics

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Here's my mother's number in case I don't make it.'

"In the morning I eat nothing then I wait 4 hours and eat nothing again."

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ