Calorie Connoisseur Gifts

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"We are starting our diet tomorrow, so we need to eat this lot today."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Dog Walker

"You're never home."

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

Shaved Ice

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

S**t Threw a Goose

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

Coffee Time Crossword

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

Complex Carbs

"They only buy one cup of coffee and then spend all day playing with a ball of yarn."

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'I am not saying you have to give up all sea food...just shrimp!'

Arguing with Edna was enough to make the brain fly out of any logical man.

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.

the Morning Joe team.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Well, no wonder they're more producive than us."

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'