Calorie Explorer Gifts

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

Before/After

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Boy baking a cake.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Nutritional Supplements.

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Cardiac day patients?"

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.