Nutrition Explorer Gifts

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

Market. It contains eight ounces of guilt and only four ounces of pleasure.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Bad for you but to die for

Before/After

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

Nutritional Supplements.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

Shrink

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"