Dieting Explorer Gifts

'Yes, it is glandular. Glandular and chocolate.'

'Our doctor told me to give up sugar and spice and everything nice.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Before/After

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Sisyphus Sawyer

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Odd Spas

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"We've gone glutton-free."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

"Why have you brought me here?"

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

Jerry loved that exhaust barbecue taste.

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

Fast food trap.