Dieting Adventurer Gifts

Motivation to Keep Fit.

"Why have you brought me here?"

'Not you again.'

Temptation.

'Al has vowed to climb the Food Pyramid...one mouthful at a time.'

'The doctor said 'morbidly' but I insisted I was quite upbeat about it,'

The Eat Whatever You Can Grab With Boxing Gloves Diet was working wonders for Bertram.

'I'm not hungry.' - 'How's the fasting going?' - 'Not good. I can't stop thinking about food.' - Why are you looking at me funny?' - 'Oh, this isn't good.'

'You've been looking a little scrawny lately.... Hey!— You're not missing another rib, are you?'

'I've discovered a new diet. I can eat as much as I like but I'm not to swallow.'

"My new weighing technique is starting to pay off."

The only sound preventative health advice for holiday eating.

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Garlic Free Zone.

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Anti-inflammation recipes

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'New Barbeque.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Odd Spas

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

The First Vegetarians.

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

"Every time I go near the refrigerator, my fitness app somehow locks it. I think they're both conspiring against me."

Go Veggie...