Nutritional Explorer Gifts

Drive In - "That's $7.99, 2400 calories and 125 grams of fat."

"I'm meat and potatoes on my dad's side, and leafy green vegetables on my mom's."

Before/After

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"All the latest research indicates we should be eating the stuff we thought killed our grandparents."

Bad for you but to die for

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Nutritional Supplements.

Shrink

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"We've gone glutton-free."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"Come now, Gracie! Squash is a great vegetable...it can be fried, sliced, baked, steamed or boiled...before you refuse to eat it."

'Have you been eating right?'