Calorie Explorer T-Shirts

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

Before/After

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I'm unable to process this image."

Boy baking a cake.

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Attack of the 'health' foods

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"Cardiac day patients?"

Hot dog.

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"We've gone glutton-free."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."