Caloric Explorer T-Shirts

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Before/After

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Cardiac day patients?"

Hot dog.

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"We've gone glutton-free."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

I don't know what it is, doc,,, I just keep going and going and going,,,

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'