Calorie Enthusiast Gifts

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Fat man on scales.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'