Diet Enthusiast Gifts

'50% off to all vegans.'

"Try to get more exercise."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'It's partly glandular and partly 8,500 calories per day.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

'Lies! Nothing but lies!'

I think our son needs more exercise and less worms...

Health Shops

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'What do you mean I don't get enough milk in my diet? I eat milk chocolate every day!'

'Have you tried the new diet? You can eat as much as you like as long as you don't swallow!'

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'I really am losing weight on the chinese diet...I use only one chopstick.'

'Seriously aren't you fat enough already?'

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

'Can you spare a cup of non-fat milk,some no-calorie sweeteners, a cup of cottage cheese, a container of low-fat yogurt...'

'We must stop taking junk food titbits from tourists or we'll soon be too fat to fly!.

Scale, Don't blame the messenger.

"How is the detox going?"

'Haven't you noticed, John, we appear to be growing apart.'

Larry didn't go anywhere without his Gut-O-Traveller.

'I'll have the 800 calorie light lunch special ... four orders.'

'True, but on the other hand, it is sugar-free.'

'That does it Harold, you're going on a diet!'

'you know a black dress would have been more slimming' - the first straw.

'My husband gained the ten pounds I lost on my new diet.'

Where is my phone?! My keys have to be around somewhere! Where is my wallet?! Some lost things are seemingly impossible for me to find. On the other hand, whenever any weight is lost it will will always easily find me again.

"When I said I needed to look at your diet I meant a list!"

'All I can suggest is for you to start a diet immediately.'

Lose 20lbs. by Thanksgiving.

Obesity

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'This is Jack, my diet motivator. If I'm hungry, I just have to watch him eating - and BOOM! there goes my appetite!'