Diet Plan Enthusiast Gifts

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Fat man on scales.

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

Odd Spas

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'