Dieting Enthusiast Gifts

'Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

'You need to go on a balanced diet.'

Woman to skeleton - 'I told you not to go on a No Carb, No Fat, No Meat diet all at once..'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

Why we always fail.

lose weight now

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

'I heard about a great diet... guarenteed to melt away inches!'

'You probably think I've got a nerve putting you on a diet!'

"I hope the sun comes out. I'm trying to get down to a size 6."

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"One day son all this will be yours."

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

'I'm just weighing out my daily allowance for my diet.'

'It's net weight when they're trying to catch you. After a few years it then becomes gross weight.'

Before and After diet photos.

The high fibre diet

'Fifty may be the new forty, but fat is definitely not the new thin.'

'Cheer up, at least it makes you look taller.'

'Well, if you're enjoying your diet plan you must be doing it wrong.'

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"I have no trouble losing weight...it's just that I'm better at finding it."

'Our HMO came this morning and took the refrigerator away!'

'In a word, you have too much consumer confidence.'

That's okay --- Nobody would get in if we included cheating on diets.

My diet is working! I'm almost down to what I didn't want to get up to!

Conservation of mass.

"I'm literally starving."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'I got one for each of us, It magnifies the food and tricks your brain into thinking you're full!'

Roughage.

"It figures...the day AFTER I go on a diet, the boss asks me out to lunch."

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"