Dieting Aficionado Gifts

Summertime Blues

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'I'm all for a healthy diet,too, but once in a while couldn't we eat something a cow wouldn't eat?'

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Fat man on scales.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'