Diet Discussion Aficionado Gifts

Hidden Shergar in ready meals.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

All Natural Nothing

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Fat man on scales.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'