Diet Discussion Aficionado Gifts

Hidden Shergar in ready meals.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Fat man on scales.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"I would kill for your metabolism."