Dieting Devotee Gifts

"Have you been putting on weight?"

"No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs... I've given up living so I can live longer."

Obesity problems in the UK.

Weight conscious cow

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'Mr Jenkins, time for a slight change in your carrot diet!'

"You look thinner with vertical stripes."

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'About time! That New Years diet finally seems to be working!'

'It's the latest slimming food, a jar of air.'

"Hey....I ordered a diet soda didn't I?"

'Fred, don't you think it's time you went on a diet?'

'There's nothing wrong with your diet pills, Mrs. Ferguson -- they're supposed to knock you out for 48 hours.'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Fern - New slim-line fern.

Fat Free Water.

Fat cat.

'Maybe I am thick, but I can't understand a woman who gives up her diet for Lent.'

"What do I recommend? Skip dessert."

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

'How much did you lose on your salmon diet?'

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"40% of the population is overweight, but 20% seems to be down to you."

"I'm celebrating. I finished my two-week diet in just four days."

Diet Confession

"This bedspread is fooling no one, Joe. We need to loose weight."

"Yes, those are rocks. You wanted something that kept you full and had no cabs."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Your Weight And Date of Your Death

'I've got a problem.'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ