Dieting Devotees Gifts

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I feel smaller already.'

Slimming Salon - Double Doors In, Single Doors Out.

A slim Santa emerges from slimming club.

"You say you wouldn't be seen dead in this dress? Let's face it, you would have to be dead for a month to fit into it!"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

Fat man on scales.

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'