Dieting Devotees Gifts

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I feel smaller already.'

Slimming Salon - Double Doors In, Single Doors Out.

A slim Santa emerges from slimming club.

"You say you wouldn't be seen dead in this dress? Let's face it, you would have to be dead for a month to fit into it!"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

Fat man on scales.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."