Dieting Skeptics Gifts

Did the new slimming drug test okay? No, sorry, too many side effects!

"Sales of our diet pills have gone through the roof since we started making them out of hamburger."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free range scientists.'

Complex Carbs

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Lite Beer.

'I envy your metabolism.'

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

The meat's fine,it's just the milk tastes of gherkins.

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'Do you want flies with that?'

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

"I need to lay off those seven birthday cakes a year."

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."